How to steal meat from pot

Funny right?

You are scrolling through a guide to learn how to steal meat from the pot.

While there is no official way to steal, I can say it is tricky to steal meat from a pot of soup, especially when that pot of soup is your Mama's.

And No. You're not weird for being here. As funny as it may sound, this piece of information is catchy. That's why you and a thousand others crossed this page.

Whether the meat is dipped in okro soup, Egusi soup, pepper soup, tomato stew, or any other soup. All roads lead to one when it comes to getting your hand soiled in theft.

Let's see how to steal meat from pot.

How to steal a meat

Okay, you have to agree with me when I say that meat is the most interesting part of any meal. Sometimes after Mom has dished out the food, we still can't get enough of the taste of that meat.

To steal meat from any pot, scrutinize the pot and its surroundings. Familiarize yourself with the arrangement. Know whether or not there's a spoon on top of the pot.

Now open the pot and aim for your desired meat.

There we go!

But that's not everything I have to say...

How to steal meat from pot without being suspected

While I do not recommend stealing meat from a pot or any kind of stealing for that matter, I have to say, the meat-stealing trend was quite common while growing up in an African home.

And it doesn't just end in the African peninsula. We can all agree that we stole from our Mom's pots at some point in our childhood.

If you didn't, then you certainly missed on some fun!

Forgive me for blabbing too much. I blame nostalgia.

But on a more serious note, if you didn't steal from your Mama's pot as a child, you must be from the younger/indomie generation.

Many of us from the older/eba generation can relate to the tips I'll be dropping shortly.

Disclaimer: This post is not for educational purposes, it's just for fun. So maybe don't try it😂.

Again, I won't bear responsibility for your actions if you get caught in the act.

Now to the long awaited strategy –

1. Scan around the kitchen

Now I know you're not stealing the entire kitchen. You're simply after the pot on the stove because that's where the meat lives. But you don't want to leave any trail behind so make sure you scrutinize your surroundings properly. Also, make sure nobody is coming.

2. Study the details of the pot

Take a look at how your Mom placed the pot and whether there's a trail of soup on the edge so you don't add another trail, and if you do add one, you can clean it off smoothly.

Also, check whether there's a spoon on top of the pot. This way, you won't unknowingly remove it after doing your business.

3. Open the pot expertly

When I say expertly, I mean gentle but fast. You don't want to risk spending too much time or getting caught, so make sure you open the pot quickly but gently.

4. Do not drop the cover

I know some people will advise you to drop the cover gently so you don't get distracted, but now, I am telling you to not drop that cover until it's time to cover the pot back.

You don't want to make any sound while at your business. And because your Mama's pot is probably made from aluminum, it will make some sound if you drop it.

5. Count the number of meat in the pot

Now, this step will determine whether you should go further with your stealing plan or abandon it.

Why do I say this?

For one, smaller meat indicates that you are more likely to get caught if any gets missing.

For example, if the meat in the pot is only 5, the chances that your Mom has already counted them is high. So if you pick any from the lumps of meat, your Mama will find out.

Contrarily, if the number of meat is 10 and above, you are less likely to get caught if you took one. Also, ensure the number of lumps don't correlate with the number of family members present whether the lumps of meat are 12 in number.

If the number of meat correlates, please abandon your plan or you'll end up explaining why you stole meat from the pot.

6. Pick your desired meat

Do not pick the biggest meat! The biggest meat is probably for Mama or Papa, and your Mama must have studied the size.

Use a fork to pick a lump of medium-size meat, throw it into your mouth then cover the pot gently.

Now don't try to play smart by biting one or all of the meat to slim them down.

I do not recommend doing this.

The diastase in your saliva will spoil the entire soup, and everyone will go in for it.

If you bite some lumps, make sure there's hot, boiled water in the corner. Throw the lumps you slim-fitted into the hot water to remove the enzymes that speed up spoilage.

Again, all these extra hassles will take more time. Hence, I do not recommend slim-fitting the meat.

7. Clean your mouth and hands

It's time to clean your mouth with a serviette or napkin. You can rinse your mouth for extra cleanness. Wash your hands with soap and water to remove any smell of soup, stew, meat, or whatever.

If you want to kill the odor of meat and soup in your mouth, take some garri and chew.

Pro-tip # -

Ensure you carry out all these steps in 5 minutes or less and make sure you are alert throughout the operation. Don't let any soup stain your clothing.

If you hear footsteps while in the act, quickly suspend whatever you are doing and loiter around as though you were washing plates or cleaning the table tops.

If these don't work out, you are on your own. Except you know how to stage another innocent act, and if you do, you need deliverance.

Conclusion

If you never knew how to steal meat from pot, you have seen learnt how to do it with this content.

I have to stress that this content does not intend to make you steal from Mama's pot.

So think of this post as a throwback to the things we did back when we didn't fully understand the implications of the Bible verses in Exodus 20:15 and 1 Corinthians 6:9-11.